The Ultimate Challenge

I am a shopaholic. Have been for as long as I can remember.  It started with CDs as a teenager.  I had to ask my friends to please-stop-me-from-going-into-Caroline-Music-because-I-will-just-buy-ANOTHER-CD! Then at the age of 15 I got a summer job working in a clothes shop. That's when it really began...  

THAT wardrobe...

I love clothes. I love shopping. I am also a hoarder.  It isn't a winning combination.  My floor to ceiling wardrobe is bulging, the walk in cupboard in the hall is death trap (I am just waiting for the day that one of our house guests is crushed or suffocated to death, en route to the loo, by an avalanche of black bin bags full of leopard print and polka dots), my parents fear their attic is going to collapse in on them and on most days my coat stand collapses due to stress. Yet I KEEP BUYING!

It's not a label thing with me.  I don't really care for them.  I just really enjoy clothes and how they can reflect your personality and style.  Ever since I was a child I have adored creating outfits and now only have to glance at an item to fall in love with it and know exactly how I would wear it.  

However, even though the pieces I buy are rarely expensive, high end fashion, the sheer number of them makes it a pretty pricey habit and one that I certainly cannot afford.  I am a self employed twenty something, living in London, so I need my money for rent, my business and my social life and should not be frittering it away on yet ANOTHER kimono sleeved jacket.  

But it's not the money issue (although it probably should be), or even the lack of space, that has led me to take decisive action (more on that in a moment), it's the rather unnerving fact that I just can't seem to CONTROL myself when it comes to shopping.  If I see something I like but know I don't need, or can't afford, I will have, often very lengthy, debates with myself about whether or not I should purchase.  I can almost picture my very own Jiminy Cricket perched on my shoulder and telling me not to do it.  I don't know why I bother exhausting myself, and Mr Cricket, with the charade because I always walk right up that to that till (or, even worse, click that button) and buy it anyway!

Without doubt, I have an addictive personality, so I guess I am pretty lucky that it has manifested as a need for 50+ pairs of shoes and not as a need for other not so pleasant, not so pretty, things.  But this shopping thing is definitely a compulsion that I struggle to control and, quite frankly, I'm bit embarrassed by it.  I'm tired of hiding Zara bags behind my bed.  The guilt of spending all my money, quite literally, on material is draining me.  I can honestly say I don't even enjoy it a lot of the time because any enjoyment is coupled with a crippling sense of guilt and self disgust. The fact that I hide most of my purchases from my friends and family says it all.  

So, 'enough is enough' and all that... I am setting myself a CHALLENGE.  A pretty big challenge:

NO MORE CLOTHES SHOPPING FOR A WHOLE YEAR. 

Now, I realise this might not seem like much of a big deal to you but, to me, it is MASSIVE and bloody terrifying! (Yes, I can hear myself and I know I sound ridiculous, hence my reasons for doing this...)

I've decided to use this blog as a place to share the experience because

a) I can't be the only person out there in this position(?!) 

b) I feel documenting might help me to stay on track - if I tell people I HAVE to do it!

c) sharing outfits will force me to 'shop my wardrobe' so to speak

So stay with me and give me a little support, eh?

Here goes....

Wish me luck!

x